


Macca: The Stranger on the Train

by waveofahand



Category: Paul McCartney - Fandom, The Beatles (Band)
Genre: A Hard Day's Night, A Hard Day's Night (1964) - Freeform, A Hard Day's Night (Movie), Dating Paul McCartney, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23457979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveofahand/pseuds/waveofahand
Summary: It's 1964, and the thing you've feared since 1963 is about to happen. Paul and the rest of the boys are heading off in a train as they begin filming their first movie. Paul's invited you to see him off, hoping to make you feel better by pointing out how fake it all is. But you know better. You know that it's real as can be, and that no matter how much Paul tries to convince himself that nothing is changing...
Relationships: Paul McCartney/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Macca: The Stranger on the Train

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of a sad one, this time. They can't all be flirty and filthy.

**It's 1964, and the thing you feared in 1963 is about to happen**

"D'ye like me suit with this shirt?"

[You look up and wiggle your eyebrows.] "You know I do. You know I'm always happy to see you in a three-piece suit."

"But is it [Daddy-enough for you](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22834954)?" [He nuzzles you]

[You gasp, amazed that he's said that outside of your flat] "Oh my... what's gotten into _you?"_

“I’m a little nervous, you know.”

“Aw, don't be. You’re going to be great, Paul. You’re going to be really great.”

“It’s _acting_ though. I don’t know from acting. I know music.”

“Yeah, but it’s not Shakespeare, right? And even if it was… you were adorable as Pyramus. You’ll be adorable here, too. I just wish… “

“Aw, come on, darlin’ don’t be so blue… Shall I sing for you? _'Close your eyes, and I'll kiss you...'“_

[That just makes you feel worse. You stop him.] “No don't! Don't... do that."

"I'm just trying to cheer you up, lovie. Hate to see you all blue."

"I know, and it's sweet of you but... Sorry. I’m trying. But I know what’s going to happen.”

“Baby, you know [we’ve had this discussion before](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22929550). I’ve told you, nothing is going to change. Yes, we’re in a crazy time right now. Yes, we’re about to make this movie, but, really, love, _listen_ to me… With all that's gone on, nothing has changed with us, so far. And nothing _will.”_

[You are sniffling and looking up at him through wet eyes. He moves in close, holding your waist, speaking softly.] “C’mon, now. You know no matter what, you’re still going to be mine, right?”

[Hitched, huffing breath] “No… I don’t know it…”

“Aw, now.” [He hugs you, then draws away, moving his arm toward everything around you.] “See, this is why I invited you here, love. To show you how _none_ of it is real. The crowds? They’re all extras, they’re not real. You see the cameras and the crews, and all the people. It’s all here – they’re all here – just to create an illusion of something, but it’s not real. It’s all make-believe. But you and I are _real_ , yeah? You needn’t worry about any of this.”

“But… but it _is_ real. It’s a… an approximation of something that is real, Paul. They might be extras but if they had half a chance they’d be all over you, just like the real crowds. Ritchie told me that in America they pinned you to a column in a hotel lobby and ripped your shirt off you before the cops got you safe.”

“Well, yes, but… “

“So that was _real_. And it’s scary to think of you in the midst of that – how hurt you could have gotten. They'd rip you to shreds, if they could. All over the world, they would.”

“Yeah, but I’m fine. It was a little scary but afterwards we had a laugh. A funny story to tell over a pint, yeah?”

“But it was _real_ , Paul! And this is real, too. You wouldn’t be making this movie if it weren’t all real in the first place. And… and… “

“And what, baby?”

[You can’t make words. You just lean your head against him as he sweetly rubs your shoulders. After a minute you look back up at him, and smile weakly.] “And _nothing_. I’m being silly and giving you problems when you don’t need them.”

[You move his hand away. Give it a squeeze.] “I’m okay, really, Paul. You need to go.”

“I hate to leave you like this, though.”

“No, really. It’s good. I’m good. This is your world, and you need to, you know… _live_ in it. Take it as far as you can.”

“I don’t like that. I don’t like what you’re saying, love. This sounds too much like a ‘goodbye’ and I’m not lookin’ for that.”

[Kisses your hand. In the distance you hear John Lennon calling out for him. _“Macca, let’s go! Everyone is waiting for you!”_ ]

[You give your bravest smile.] “'Everyone is waiting for you', Paul. You’d better go.”

“You’ll be here when I get back?” [Running the back of his fingers against your cheek.] “You will, yeah?”

“Of course I will. Here, there... wherever you want me, I'll be there.” [You gulp].

[He looks you in the eye, gives you the sweetest smile, so sweet you want to die right there, because you know you’ll never see it again. Not in that way, not directed only toward you, not for your eyes only. He touches your chin, kisses you and you let it linger.] “Thank you, my darling.”

[Brave smile] “Like you said… _no matter what_ , I’m still going to be yours.”

[John calls again, impatient. _“MACCA!”_ ]

[He shrugs, embarrassed.] “I'm sorry, love. I’ll ring you, okay?”

“Okay.”

[He starts to move away, heading for the steps onto the train.] “Be good! Stay safe and be good for me, love, yeah?”

[It feels like there is a rock in your throat] “I’ll be good. _You_ be good. And safe. _Stay safe!”_

He says something but you can’t hear. Too much noise. Enough noise that you feel perfectly safe to whisper _“I love you,”_ knowing it will never be heard.

You stand on tiptoe, straining to see -- waiting to see if he’ll wave through a window. He does, smiling. His expression changes, though, as he sees your composure break, and your tears start to fall. He looks confused, and a little concerned, but also helplessly excited as the train begins to pull away.

You stand some more, watching it leave, taking Paul away, far away from you. Watching down the railway path for a long time, even after it’s turned and gone from view.

You are still there, in that spot, even after the crowds and the crews and the extras have disappeared. As though if you stand there long enough, he will suddenly return to you, and things will be as they were.

But he’s gone. Things will never be the same. And it has to be that way, because – just like Lennon said – _everyone was waiting for him_. The whole world was waiting for him. It was his moment.

Finally, you turn away, shoulders slumped, listening to the click of your own heels on the pavement, steady, sure, and moving in the direction they had to in order to bring you to the rest of your life. But you'd face it, now, with a little sadness -- a little daily tug at the strings of your heart. 

Because, no matter what, you knew you were still going to be his, every day.

But you also knew -- with every fiber of your being, with every panic-rhythm of your pulse -- that he would never again be yours.

Never like before.

[You whisper] “Goodbye, Paul… “


End file.
